Wondering

Things haven't changed much over here. We're still waiting on God to make His plan for our lives clear, mostly by waiting on the possible job in California. After Aron had the phone interview with the church there, he called the camp in Ayden to see what the status was on the job which would allow us to stay here. Well, let's just say the door seems to be closed on that. The funding that they were waiting on to be able to hire another staff member has been pushed back to December which would mean the job wouldn't even start until 2011. While waiting on the possibility of them wanting to hire Aron at the beginning of the new year sounds somewhat appealing, the fact that the job isn't promised to him does not. Waiting around for the chance to get that job doesn't make much sense.

What also doesn't make sense is God moving us completely across the country. The job in California is still not a guarantee, but it seems to be very likely at this point. Until last Sunday, I was very sad and upset about the thought of moving so far away. I'd pretty much made it up in my mind that it was about the worst thing that could happen to our family. My mind just would not come to terms with it. I wondered why in the world God would have moved us to Greenville, NC to make great friends and get involved in a great church to leave a year and a half later? And then going to church made it all the more real. We would possibly be leaving and would quite likely never see most of our church family ever again. So after church I sought out a friend and cried. I mean I boo hooed! I let out all my sadness, frustration, and confusion over the possibility of moving so far away and it has made all the difference. Getting all that "yuck" out has greatly improved my outlook on things. I've come to terms with the great possibility that in just a little while, we might be living on the West Coast of the country.

Now here's where I really wonder: is that what God was waiting for? Will Aron get an email tonight (by the way, their search committee is having their weekly meeting tonight and are supposed to send him an email afterwards) that says, "Thank you for your interest, but we've found someone else?" Will God have been waiting on me to submit to His plans and instead have another door open that we're unaware of? Or will the email say, "We've checked all your references and want to fly you and your wife out to meet us all and find a house" and God was just waiting on me to be ok with that? At this point, as much as the thought of being so incredibly far away from everyone that we know and love still scares me, I'm ready to move to California if that's what God wants us to do. If that's how God wants to use Aron and KingMaker Ministries to make the most impact on the Kingdom, then I'm all for it. So we'll see.